


so fresh, so clean

by nightiebirdie



Series: idiot man-child(ren) [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe (Timmverse), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Attempt at Humor, BAMF Women, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson Has Mommy Issues, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd-centric, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Jason Todd Has Mommy Issues, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd is So Done, McDonald's, Multi, NO JAYDICK- this is not a safe space for jaydick shippers xoxo, Original Character(s), POV Dick Grayson, POV Jason Todd, Pining, Polyamory, Polyandry, Slow Burn, Team as Family, Tim Drake is Red Robin, and that's fucked up, but he fucked his son's gf-, but like actual family, honorary milf(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29548077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightiebirdie/pseuds/nightiebirdie
Summary: Dick and Jason are pining for the same woman...who happens to be 27. And a vigilante. And a millionaire.No one ever said having a crush was easy.
Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Reader, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Reader, Dick Grayson & Reader, Dick Grayson/Reader, Jason Todd & Reader, Jason Todd/Reader, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Series: idiot man-child(ren) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157420
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	so fresh, so clean

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see, I hate summaries, so this may or may not be good xoxo. plus i hate having shit in my drafts (i say with like 20+ drafts but it is what it is yk?) so i need to get rid of this.

Jason swears on his favorite gun (a handgun he’d stolen, but that was irrelevant), if you come near him one more time, with that flirtatious smile, he’ll take you, right here, right now. He always wanted to be a pornstar.

Okay, maybe that was a bit much.

But the looks you were giving him from across the room were just as heated.

That was a joke, by the way. The whole pornstar thing.

_ Yeah _ .

“Are you drooling? Jason-” Dick waves his hand in front of Jason's face. Jason rolls his eyes.

No, he very much was  _ not _ .

“Fuck are you talking about, pretty boy?” He throws his arms over Dick’s shoulders, practically dragging him toward a table of refreshments.

The guests around the two look at Jason scandalously and he has half a mind to bark at them, but he instead settles for a lazy glare. 

Judgemental old ass people. If you were named Susan, Karen, Harold (the exception was Hal Jordan- he and Hal get along like two annoying ass, hyperactive kids, which was to say they got along very,  _ very _ well) or Frank and had one foot in the grave, your opinion did not matter.

These galas always were super draining on both Jason’s mind and body. He wasn’t quite sure how Bruce was able to do it.

“Oh.  _ Oh _ ? (Y/n) (L/n), huh?” Dick’s confused expression morphs into a smirk.

“What? You know her or something like that?” 

Jason grabs a flute of champagne and downs it in one gulp like he isn’t still nineteen. Dick doesn’t say anything and instead grabs one too.

And Bruce says  _ Jason’s _ a bad influence.  _ Kidding _ .

You chat from across the ballroom, red cocktail dress hugging your curves. Jason was sure you could pull off a potato sack dress.

He shakes his head.

“Nah, I don’t. She’s hot- hey! What was that for?”

Jason smiles, grabbing another flute. “Thought you were supposed to have manners, golden boy.”

“I  _ do _ . Besides, she’s like-” Dick looks up at the ceiling, thinking.

“27. Which is about 8 years too old for you, little brother.” 

8 isn’t terribly large.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Didn’t Barbara fuck-”

Barbara was still a sore spot for both Dick and Bruce for reasons Jason  _ really _ doesn’t want to think about.

“ _ Jason _ .” 

The way his name is said is forceful but also...sad?

Dick grips Jason’s shoulder. Sensing his brother’s discomfort, Jason plays it off.

“ _ Anyways _ , I’ll be the judge of that,  _ Dick _ . Don’t you have a girlfriend? Tori or something like that?” Jason and Dick walk away from the table and toward a window, the large velvet curtains drawn to reveal the gorgeous gardens Alfred was so very proud of.

“ _ Raya _ . How’d you get Tori from- anyway. And nope. We,  _ uh _ ,  _ broke _ up. A kinda crash and  _ burn _ situation.” 

There’s wordplay in that sentence, Jason just can’t seem to figure it out.

Jason holds back a snort. Dick looks at him, critically, squinting.

“That’s too bad. I’m sorry.”

He raises a shaped brow at Jason. “You don’t sound too sorry.”

“You caught me.” Jason holds his hands up. “Arrest me, Officer Grayson.”

“Don’t tempt  _ me _ .” Dick chuckles. He isn’t serious.

At least he  _ thinks _ so. Can never be too sure with Dick.

Jason scans the room and catches your eye. You wink in his direction before blending back into the shifting crowd.

Cheeky.

“Here’s to hoping that Bruce doesn’t get to (Y/n) (L/n) before me.” Dick lifts his glass and Jason scoffs.

“We’ll see about that, Goldie.” Jason taps his flute against Dick’s anyways before finishing it off.

Dick looks horrified.

“Please- I meant- ya know what? Forget it. This is over in 10 minutes, so you wanna get McDonalds or something?”

Jason sits his glass on a nearby table.

“Fuck,  _ yes _ , I’ll even pay. You can drive bec-”

“Yeah, I know, Dick, I don’t even know how the  _ hell _ you got a license.” 

“I may or may not have ha-”

Jason almost folds in on himself. “That’s enough, just get your ass outside. We’re taking the Bentley.”

“Okey-dokey.”

* * *

What a sight.

Two men, Bruce Wayne’s sons to make it even better, in designer suits, sitting in the drive-thru. Of a McDonalds.

Dick props his feet up on the dashboard, his  _ designer _ black loafers glinting in the stray light emanating from the street light. 

“Here’s your- oh.” The worker freezes in the middle of handing the bag to Jason, gears turning in her head. “You’re the-”

“Wayne kids. Yup. Thank you!” Dick’s head pops out from where it was previously hidden by his little brother’s large frame.

The lady hands the bag to Dick, who leans over Jason, and she watches as Jason pulls out of the lane.

“Chicken nuggets, really?” Jason gives Dick a flat look and Jason gets the BatGlare™ back, looking exactly like Bruce for a split minute.

“What? They’re good, just eat your Big Mac and shut the hell up, bitch.” 

Dick pouts and Jason recoils. Weird ass.

You would’ve thought Jason the older brother and Dick the younger.

The two sit in a parking lot, in the backseat of the Bentley and eat in silence, the car off, their phones on silent. Peaceful. For  _ once _ .

Until there’s a loud boom and- that’s fire isn’t it? 

Balls of fire sail across the skies of Gotham, landing anywhere they could reach.

Not to mention the Big Ass Portal that the fire is coming from.

“Just one night.”

“Just one night, my ass.” Dick snorts at his brother’s words and climbs into the front seat, starting up the car.

Jason just puts his face into his hands and pulls off his tie.

This was going to be a long night and an even longer morning.


End file.
